how to get your trust back

  

Losing your romantic partner’s trust is likely to create a major barrier to enjoying a happy, fulfilling romantic connection and that intimacy that we believe defines a long-term, committed relationship. It doesn’t take a big lie (such as cheating) to lose your partner’s trust. A petty, trivial untrue statement will make the other person lose trust because he/she will inevitable assume that you if can lie about small things, you are just as likely to lie about the more significant matters in a relationship.

Trust and reputation for honesty take time and work to build, especially when your partner has been “around the block” and has been lied to by his/her prior dating partners. Once you lose your partner’s trust, however, getting that trust back can be a challenging task. Having your lover forgive you is one thing, but having him/her fully trust you again is a completely different component of your relationship that simply cannot be restored with the mere words “I forgive.”

If you are in the situation where you lost your relationship partner’s trust, you must also be frustrated because your partner is probably reminding you of that one or several lies and making you “pay” for that over and over again.

Indeed, it’s pointless for your partner to continue bringing up the incident in which his / her trust was violated, but often a person can’t help but go back and make you feel guilty about what you have done – primarily because your act bothers them so much. So what can you do to rectify that situation besides not giving new reasons not to trust you in the future?

I would like to suggest to you several very useful steps toward restoring your dating partner’s trust:

1. Try to understand and relate to what your partner is going through and to how difficult it is believing someone after they gave you a reason not to. Truly put yourself in their shoes and try to imagine how it would feel to be lied to, and how difficult it would be to trust the person who deceived you once before if you exected full honesty and mutual trust from each other till that moment.

2. Treat the recurring comments of your partner about your prior lies with patience and realize that there is no way around but letting time take care of your partner’s anger and bitterness. Sure he or she will bring up the incident of catching you on a lie over and over in the future, even after regret and apologize many times. Saying “sorry” is easy. Saying “I forgive” is also not that hard, but truly forgiving and moving on after losing trust in your partner or doubting his or her honesty takes time. In other words, you should be aware that there are no instant fixes to this problem and there is no way restore trust and get it back overnight. Only time can make your partner truly forgive, forget and put the problem behind both of you.

3. Put a positive spin on the incident. Continue assuring your partner that you have learned a lot from the incident, that it made you a better person, and that you have realized better than ever before how important it is to be truthful in a relationship.

4. Lastly, be firm about insisting that your partner doesn’t continue making you feel guilty about what you have done because it doesn’t do any good to either of you or to your relationship, and that the sooner she stops bring that up, the better off both of you will be.

Getting trust back takes time and effort, but if you care about your partner and your relationship, it’s certainly worth the effort, and overcoming the loss of trust can eventually bring you closer to your partner than you have ever been before.

credits to: practicalhappiness.com

   

How to Win a Girl's Heart :)

  

              

Some people struggle everyday with watching the loveof their life flock around with other potential lovers, knowing that they themselves are the only ones who love her truly. Jealousy, hatred, and a feeling of loss might all come to life during this time. But what you really need to do is win that person's heart.

1. 1
   Don't come on too strong early. Let the relationship develop at its own pace. Coming on too strong early will almost certainly creep her out.
2. 2
   Be brave. Most girls like people with confidence, not an ego. Just walk up to her and start a simple conversation. She'll get the hint that you are interested in her.
3. 3
   Do not ever treat her as she were merely an item. No one likes to feel used and unloved.
4. 4
   Prove that you really like her. Show that you're not simply crushing or lusting for her. Ask her about herself, talk to her. Don't just move in for the kiss. Listen to her and look her in the eye.
5. 5
   Memorize her eye color. Do this by looking at them as much as you can when you're talking with her. It wouldn't be a bad idea to do this for every woman you meet.
6. 6
   Care for her. Ask her about her day. It's a simple way to show her that you are interested in what she does, and that you do care. When she starts to talk, you must give her your full attention. Look her in the eye. And most importantly, don't interrupt. Ask her questions about it because it will show her that you are listening. Offer to help her.
7. 7
   Make sure to be good friends with her friends. If her friends like you, you'll have a better chance of winning her over. After all, girls often turn to their friends for advice and for a second opinion. So it's best if her friends have a high opinion of you.
8. 8
   Make her feel like the most beautiful thing in the world. You can actually directly say that. Girls love to be complimented and to know that they are beautiful, but don't overdo it, particularly in a new friendship. Just saying something like, "You look really nice today" will make her happy. As long as you're sincere and mean it. If you are not, they will not trust your opinion on other things.
9. 9
   Make sure she feels safe with you. Most girls want to have someone they can trust and turn to when something goes wrong. And even when she is having a good day, let her know you're interested in how she's doing. If you know that she has plans after work or school, ask her how it went. If you let on that you like her, she'll eventually pick up on the hints. You don't even have to come out and say it. She'll probably pick up on it already.
10. 10
    Feel good and bad for her. If she had gotten a perfect score on her math test, be cheerful about it! If she was having a bad day, let her know that you feel her pain and that you want her to feel better. Attempt to make her feel better, if you can.
11. 11
    If you can make a girl laugh, you'll get further with her. But don't take advantage of this. Let her be your best friend first, then ease into things. A girl needs to know that she can trust you, and that you're not going to break her heart because you really do care about her. Girls love to laugh and will laugh at anything you say, even if its not funny.
12. 12
    Let her wear your jacket if she's cold. It makes an even bigger impression if you take it off of your back and give it to her to wear, but make sure it's clean and smells decent. In doing this, you show a girl that you care about her. She will feel safe and cared.
13. 13
    Have good hygiene. Women take pride in hygiene and if a man has good hygiene, it works really well on her. The opposite, bad hygiene, is usually an immediate deal-breaker. Believe it or not, fresh, clean-smelling hair is a really good thing. And, a fresh-smelling body is a must-have. A sweaty, smelly body means you're out.
14. 14
    Don't play games. It's a waste of time and gets a relationship headed in the wrong direction. If you try to start a relationship on something false (like you say you've had a multi-year relationship yet you've never even had a girlfriend), that is most likely where you will end up. Cute little flirting or teasing is okay, but never pretend to be someone you're not. If you think the girl is only in the relationship for one thing, and you're in it for another, don't just play along to keep her with you. Tell her what you're looking for and try and make her see what really counts.
15. 15
    Be sincere. Compliments, flirting, teasing, carefulness -- none of it matters unless you truly do care.
16. 16
    Love her for her quirks. Everyone has something they don't like about the person they love, but if you have too many big things on that list, you need the boot. You need to love her for the things that make her special, for her uniqueness. Tell her so. For example, "I love your freckles." A simple thing like that that you know she may be insecure about can really mean a lot to a girl.
17. 17
    If you are thinking something, tell her. If you can't decipher her signals or see where she is going with what she's doing/saying, tell her that. It's best just to get it out there, and see what she says. If you're unsure of what is going on, or how she's treating you, tell her that. If you get it out there right away, the problem can be fixed and the relationship can stay healthy. But don't shoot your mouth off. In these situations, you need to think twice and speak once.
18. 18
    Love who she is, inside and out. And show it. This is the most important step.
19. Source: http://www.wikihow.com/

Ways to Save Marriage

                                

If you are one of the married people who has problems regarding your married life, try to read and apply this simple ways, hope it can help. For those people who are in a nice relationships with their wife/husband, keep it up! and have time to improve your ways to keep your relationship stronger and you 

can add this ways below.

1. Yours, Mine & Ours -- As important as it is to build togetherness and intimacy based on mutual interests, it's just as important to have an inner and outer life of your own. Respect your differences and it will make the relationship stronger.

2. Time to Be Together -- Sure, you're working, cleaning, car pooling, making the kids do their homework, etc. But how important are all those things if your marriage falls apart? Make time to spend together. Take regular vacations together. Spend leisure time doing things you both enjoy. Commit to a weekly date night and make it as unbreakable as the staff meeting at work.

3. Take Care of Yourself -- Spend time every day on your appearance and your physical well being. Not only will your loved one like looking at you, but you'll feel better about yourself.

4. Communication Goes Both Ways -- Many relationships fail because of misunderstandings. Effective communication skills are necessary if your relationship is going to survive. Stay calm.

5. Criticize Gently -- Don't judge too harshly. If you criticize, do it as you would want others to criticize you. Be gentle.

6. The Children -- Yes, a child changes the dynamics of a relationship, but he or she doesn't need to destroy the sanctity of your marriage. Accept the fact that children will have problems and don't be reluctant to get outside help if it's needed.

7. Courting -- Gifts, compliments, and a loving embrace go a long way, especially when they're unexpected. Treat your spouse with the same courtesies you did when you were dating. Pretend you are trying to win your partner all over again.

8. Romance -- Keep your romantic images alive even when facing the harsh realities of life. Resolve to do just one romantic gesture for your mate every single day.

9. The Terms of Endearment -- Spell out the basics of your relationship in a yearly contract, or at least clarify them. Most disputes that break up marriages are over sex and money. Don't let surprises lead to trouble.

10. Renegotiating the Contract -- Marriage is like any other contract -- its terms and conditions must be reviewed and updated. Right before an anniversary is a perfect time


11. Willingness -- Admit that there is a problem and that you want to fix it. You and your partner need to be able to say, “I want to save my marriage,” and mean it. Without commitment from both sides, any expended effort will be wasted.


12. Money -- Money can be a huge stress to a relationship. Make sure to communicate and plan expenditures, savings, investments, and other financial issues. Being clear on the expectations of your financial relationship can often clear up other ‘issues’ between you that seemed to be so pressing.

8 Pillars Of Everlasting Relationship

            
Putting the knowledge of 8 Pillars of everlasting relationship to work well without fail, benefit you and your partner for an everlasting enjoyable relationship.

(1). Communication
 Virtually every aspect of a relationship is touched by communication. It is of great importance to know how to communicate well and effectively. Every expression makes and impression. Positive comments help to keep relationship alive while negative comments drags relationship to the ground. 

(2). Respect
This means accepting and loving your partner for the wonderful, unique human being they are. Respect who they are and don't try to make them be like you, understand that the ways that they differ from you don't need to be fixed. Your partner isn't your private property, it isn't conducive to a happy relationship to restrict their freedoms by treating them this way. Instead it is far better to encourage your partner to grow and become the person they want to be.

(3). Honesty
In a relationship, complete honesty is always needed. The principle behind it is that no one likes being lied to, and if a relationship is to flourish, it should be built on the foundation of honesty. This includes honesty to oneself, if you aren't honest to yourself how can you possibly be honest to your partner.

(4). Trust 
Trust is creating a safe emotional space for your partner. Trust is something that can be cultivated and nurtured, one should continuously and actively work on building a safe emotional space. Your partner should be able to trust you completely with everything from the smallest detail up to and including trusting you with their life.

(5). Commitment
Commitment means being prepared to accept disappointments that can occur in a relationship, and finding an honest way to work it out. Those who become serious in a relationship without preparing for any problems, disappointments, or adjustments can experience increased insecurities or resentments that can affect the overall health of their relationship.

64 ways to say "i love you"

These ways to say I love you can help start a new relationship or solve past problems. Connect with your lover, improve your love life with these ways to say I love you!

Knowing different ways to say "I love you" can make a big difference in your relationship! These specific, practical ways to say "I love you" to your partner, kids, and friends can increase the communication, connection, and caring in your family.

64 Ways to Say "I Love You"

1. Don't compare them to anyone.
2. Be courteous at all times.
3. Embrace the present moments without fear or guilt.
4. Live by the Golden Rule (Do unto others as you would have them do unto you).
5. Say "I love you" by giving your full attention when talking.
6. Become their biggest fan and cheerleader!
7. Toast each other over breakfast or dinner to say I love you.
8. Tell them how they bring love to your life.
9. Laugh about kids quotes on love or events.
10. Talk about your dayduring mealtimes.
11. Read books aloud together.
12. Say you're sorry.
13. Recall good and bad memories.
14. Let go of the past to say "I love you."
15. Do nothing together.
16. Encourage health in all its forms.
17. Trust your partner enough to cry together.
18. Act silly together.
19. Be lavish in praise.
20. Ask questions about opinions, feelings, thoughts.
21. To say I love you, forget about labels.
22. Encourage adventures and risks!
23. Remember: there is one best way to say "I love you"!
24. Show your joy when they come home.
25. Bake cookies.
26. Leave stress at work to say "I love you."
27. Use flannel sheets in the winter.
28. Solve problems together - such as crosswords or Suduku.
29. Show your gratitude for them.
30. Be a good sounding board.
31. To say I love you, take pride in them -- and show it.
32. Compliment them in front of others.
33. Spend time with them.
34. Listen.
35. Ask for hugs and kisses.
36. Take vacations together.
37. Tell the truth to say I love you.
38. Use pet names to say "I love you."
39. Practice self-acceptance.
40. Hunt for treasure together.
41. Be interested in their interests.
42. To say I love you, let go of jealousy.
43. Accept their weaknesses and flaws.
44. Ditch work or responsibilities to play with them.
45. Be yourself.
46. Share chocolates, ice cream sundaes, milkshakes.
47. To say "I love you", ignore slights.
48. Pray or meditate together.
49. Practice forgiveness.
50. Watch classic movies together.
51. Leave notes or send letters.
52. To say I love you, buy a "for no reason at all" gift.
53. Don't gossip or judge.
54. Give the benefit of the doubt to say I love you.
55. Give space when they're in a bad or sad mood.
56. Learn something new together.
57. Go dancing.
58. Keep your promises to say I love you.
59. Make them laugh.
60. Consider their feelings.
61. Learn ways to rekindle the romance.
62. Hide a treat in their lunch.
63. To say "I love you," make home a fun place to be.
64. Let them make their own decisions.
65. Say what you mean when you say I love you. Say why.

Saying I love you takes work. It's hard to be honest, and it's hard to accept the consequences of your honesty and authenticity. It takes time, energy, and commitment to stay connected through all the problems that life and people bring. It can be painful, aggravating, and scary to stick it out through all the ups and downs....but the alternative is worse.